50 Ways to Leave Your Diapers

"The problem is all inside your head, she said to me
the answer is easy if you take it logically.
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
there must be 50 ways to leave your diapers."

Wait? That's not how the Simon and Garfunkel jam went? Yeah, so as some of my friends from Facebook know, I potty trained Landon last month. My status update was the following:

"Potty training my toddler is - without a doubt - one of the most frustrating experiences of my life. Aaaand we are only three hours in. I'd throw in the towel but I think I've used them all."

I lost my cool, more than I care to admit. In one instance, I believe my reaction was, "Landon, there is shit everywhere! You are covered in shit!" I then worked my delts to the max by suspending him as far as possible in front of my body while I carried him directly to the shower, do not pass Go. Twasn't my finest moment; I highly regret it, especially when Landon kept saying "shit, shit shit" for about 10 minutes post clean up. [Kind of like how he randomly mutters "Jesus Christ" under his breath once in a while - I never knew I said that often but I guess they are my choice words of exasperation these days?!? Seriously?]

But looking back on it, I realized two things: (1) it wasn't that bad at all. I'm so glad I stuck with it because Landon actually was quite the champ. (2) The worst part of it all was actually Anders who couldn't quite handle the shift in attention. We did the three day method where you hunker down and don't leave the house, basically staying within a 15 second radius of a toilet. I had lots of stickers, jelly beans and new toys on standby.

Lots and lots of LeapPad time. I tossed a couple new games his way whenever we'd reach a milestone.

After telling Landon he couldn't sit on the couch to watch TV while we are potty training, he made me laugh by taking up a post on the window sill behind the couch and peering over to watch his shows.

Playing some brain games on a tablet that Grandpa sent.

Books, books, and more books.

Anders offering moral support.

In the end, an immediate reward yielded the best results - my sticker chart of "a trip to the ice cream shoppe when you fill in all the spots!" was too broad and didn't sink in.

Proving that action figures can be used any time any place.

A friend comes over? More moral support.

One week in pull ups and then became Captain Underwear by week two! Accident free for three weeks! Yippeeeeee!

My Mom Dressed Me

So it shouldn't be news by now that my mom hasn't earned any points when it comes to getting me out of pajama pants on any day that ends with "y" - but she doesn't make it any easier by letting me out in a NEON GREEN set with a BRIGHT RED JACKET. 

"Merp."

Resolutions and Take Aways

Before the month of January closes out, I suppose I should comment on resolutions and lessons learned from the previous year.

My resolution is simple and the same as a billion other peoples': lose weight and/or not gain any more weight. When Anders was still on the boob and allergic to all the dairy and chocolate I ate (therefore removal from my diet), I was literally trying on size 0 and size 2 pants. Size 0, people. Zero!!! But given he stopped breastfeeding last year, it opened my world again to cheese and chocolate and increased beer consumption. And you know what comes with cheese and chocolate and beer? Not size 0 pants. Just a whole bunch of extra tummy love. You know what else it brings? Joy. Sheer joy.

As well, my resolution from last year stands to be more patient with the boys and cut back on the yelling. Choosing joy, blah, blah, blah. I guess I'm a work in progress on this one. How's the saying go? I, myself, am made entirely of flaws, stitched together with good intentions. Yes, that's the one.

As far as my take aways from 2013:

- Pick my battles with the kids' tantrums. I'm learning when to let them scream for 10 minutes on the floor vs trying to placate them. I'm not a master by any means, but I've been saving myself some grief lately.

- If you install a "no slam" toilet seat in one bathroom of the house, you may as well on the other toilets, as well. Otherwise you will hear a whole lot of errant slamming seats after getting used to the one that doesn't slam.

- Pay attention to the change in speed zones at the end of the year when there are quotas to meet.

- Being more positive for Erik when he arrives home from work (trying not to complain about the kids, etc) has overall been a better adjustment for us both. Am I holding in some choice words at times? Yes. Do I still feel the need to voice them the next day? No.

- I continue to feel absolutely blessed with my life. I know I joke about stuff all the time and can be self deprecating within my writings, but I honestly feel like a lucky soul and if I can mark that as a take away for every year moving forward, things will be just fine.

Quotes

[Scene: Watching random Sesame Street clips with the boys after dinner.]

Landon: Mommy, look! It's your twin!

Me: You know what, bud? I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you.

Landon: Yeah, but you need some sunglass chickens, too.

My Mom Dressed Me

...in a onesie two sizes too small. I'll have to use this here reciprocating saw to cut my way out of this thing.

Proving that diapers can, indeed, create a baby muffin top.

Artiste

I've been receiving great joy lately in watching Landon draw more and more. It was just one of those things where he randomly started to draw out familiar characters and objects one day. His teachers said he spans out over three easels at once, standing wide and claiming his territory, drawing on each paper in quick succession.

His favorite medium, though, is that of the Magna-Doodle variety... it lends itself to a quick "erase" when his masterpiece is compromised with an errant stroke. He actually has drawn some great stuff but - like any great dramatic artist - he destroys it right away and I have been unable to capture it for our electronic gallery. Oh well, at least we are saving a shit ton of paper.

Self portrait of him wearing his snowman shirt.

Meow.

At first glance, a bunch of amorphous blobs. Upon explanation, I learned it was mommy and daddy walking Landon and Anders in the double stroller (I suppose the artsy fartsy title could be Four Faces and Two Wheels).

"I draw kitty cat piano!"

Okay, so Mom drew this one based on input. "I use my piggy popper toy to hit Anders. And my doggy and blankie are there, too."

"Look, Landon and Anders." That's so sweet, honey! Are you hugging Anders? "Uuuh, okay." (I suspect he may have been hitting him in the picture, but let's just say it's a nice big "brothers gotta hug!" kinda moment.)

Ferry Ride

It was nice to get out this afternoon and take the boys on the short ferry ride over to Guemes Island with some friends. You can park right next to it, children ride free, adults are $2.50 round trip and the journey is 5 minutes long. The destination includes a beach, a patch of grass to run on and a country store with beer and ice cream. Why we don't do this every other day is beyond me. 

Enjoying the ride.

Looking for shells, rocks and jellyfish.

The A-Man just off in his own little bubble throwing rocks and staying carefully away from the water line.

Still searching for that perfect rock.

I was hoping all that running would burn off energy. Silly, mom.

Joe Cool.

Wishing Daddy was with us!

Erik has been gone a few weeks now and although I have tried to do some fun stuff with the boys, I have to admit it would just be a crap ton easier for him to be here for the mini adventures (and of course creating memories with the boys, yada, yada, yada). I would have just loved to sit down and enjoy a beer and listen to the guitarist at the general store, but the kids were hyped up, feet were wet and sandy and the boys apparently had made a tacit agreement to head in opposite directions with every maneuver. Alas, we took the first available ferry ride back to Anacortes and they were happy campers nonetheless when a big ol' smelly dog named Corbin climbed onto the ferry with us. I suppose life is pretty simple when you don't let your mind muddy it on up.

Evening Dance Party

I know what you are thinking: Yes, they get their awesome dance moves from my side of the family.



We have so much fun with the YouTube channel "Pancake Manor" - we love Zach and Reggie!!!

Nightly Prayer

Dear Lord, thank you for curry. I could eat it for every meal. Love, Anders. Amen.

Quotes

[Scene: The boys and I are quietly eating breakfast and Landon stops eating and looks at me.]

Landon: Hey. Hey Mommy.

Me: Hey, Bud. What's up?

Landon: You don't have a wiener. 

Me: You're right.

Aaaand he goes back to eating. End scene.