Climbing

Same tree, same afternoon, same conditions. And yet... two different personalities rise to the surface in their captured expressions.

"Yay!"

"Oh shit."

Ordinary

I think it's probably a natural human behavior to take a step back once in a while and question "Where am I in my life right now?" For whatever reason, I've been in that introspective phase the last couple months. I suspect it is sparked by Erik being gone a lot, the kids fully transitioning out of the baby baby phase and also, if I'm being honest, the addition of a couple pounds on the ol' birthday suit. I feel like such a mom with her mom jeans and her mom frumpiness and her mom coupons and her mommy mom mom mom mom. The word that has been popping up in my head often as of late is "ordinary."

Here's the thing: I don't think I'm ordinary. I don't think anyone is ordinary. My mom was unique. My friends are extraordinary. My dad is special. My brother is outstanding. My kids are effervescent. No one I know is ordinary. But the word just keeps rearing itself in my head as I struggle to fit back into an identity that isn't tied to being a mother. The girl who used to play guitar. The girl who would walk for miles, listening to tunes and nerdy NPR podcasts, with seemingly no where to be. The girl who drew up schematics in her head for writing a tiny novella. The girl who would confidently speak to a room full of nurse executives and time business travel to the minute based on familiarity with a couple dozen airports.

Where all these thoughts land, I don't know. Basically I feel like I'm going into a phase of reclamation. We'll see how far I get, but I think I'll give it a good shot this time.

Mother's Day 2014

I had a nice little Mother's Day with my boys today. The sun was shining, the birds were singing and - most importantly - the boys seemingly beat their jet lag after arriving back home from our trip to Maryland and Pennsylvania. It was the greatest gift they could have given me after their 5a wake up calls throughout the week.

We did our typical Sunday morning stroll and brought seeds to the squirrels and birds along the trail loop, but we were also lucky to spot some deer nibbling on some grass and some seals sunning on some rocks. And then of course it was back to rock harvesting.

The things that I love most about being a mom: seeing my little guys wave and say a friendly hello when we are hiking along a trail or entering the checkout lane at the grocery store. I like to see their benign smiles in everyday action. And the giggles as they play together... pretty darn tootin cute. People have long been saying how they will be good friends when they are older and I am finally seeing this come to fruition. Hallelujah. They are usually up to no good together, but at least they are having fun.

Things that currently challenge me the most currently in motherhood: being a referee when someone just wants personal space or there is a skirmish over a toy. The whining that comes with this territory is a very powerful torture device. I can let random toddler tantrums occur or watch them make mistakes since it's all part of the game, but oh the whining. The whining breaks me.

We ended the day with an ice cream date and some hula hoop antics. All in all besides the hubster being gone, it was a wonderful Mother's Day to celebrate the simple pleasures of a nice spring day.

Thanks for giving me the honor of being your mom, little guys. Love ya and stuff.