What Did You Have for Breakfast?

As some background info: I have been in the States this past month to help around the office and visit friends and family. Erik is still off somewhere in the middle of the Pacific so temporarily leaving the muggy (and buggy) summer of Japan was a no-brainer decision on my part.

I don’t know if I’m more aware of it now after being immersed in the courteous culture that is Japan, but I realize there are a lot of inconsiderate people floating around these parts. Mind you there are plenty of wonderful people, but there are some just plain jerks in everyday American life. [Actually, there are probably plenty of jerks in Japan, too, it’s just that I don’t understand when they are being jerks, short of someone placing a "kick me" sign written in kanji on my back.]

For example, I was in line the other day at the little deli shop next to my office building and the woman in front of me was ordering a sandwich. The dialogue went a little something like this:

Customer: Give me a tuna salad sandwich
Deli Staff: On white or wheat or a wrap?
Customer: No wrap – I said a sandwich. As in bread. Pssh. [Eye roll.]
Deli Staff: White or wheat?
Customer: Give me white. I need tomatoes and onions on there.
Customer: [in response to the deli staff temporarily helping her coworker get a new jar of mayo out] I placed my order before them – give me this to go. Oh, cut the crusts off, too.

Now that you’ve read this fascinating dialogue (“It's like I was there!”), I will continue my thought. Point is: I don’t know why this woman didn’t smile or say thank you or say please, but it bothered me. I figure even on my worst days, I can muster up a small smile and a thank you for a simple transaction like ordering a sandwich. Its tuna salad, not a debate on Roe vs Wade. This one woman’s attitude perplexed me for the rest of my lunch hour.

As fate would have it, I was later interviewing someone that afternoon that had a relevant thought to share -- in response to a question about how he would work with a difficult person on his team, he said “Well I don’t know what he or she had for breakfast.” After tangentially remembering my delicious bagel from earlier in the morning, I asked him to further explain what he meant. He basically said that he knows some people act like asses, but that person could have problems at home or overall wasn’t privileged to be raised in an environment of good communication. Or they are drunk. So he tries to look past the person’s attitude as much as possible and seek out the business task at hand.

Good answer. I don’t know if the company ever hired him…

So next time I am in line and see the person in front of me being rude or inconsiderate, I will just breathe and try to remember they may have had a big ol’ bowl of poo for breakfast. And when it’s my turn at the counter, I will just smile a little brighter.