Testing the Limits

Oh gosh, how fair is it that the week I declare my resolution to have a more controlled temper is the week that Landon decides to flip a 180 on his sleep behavior and develop a screaming habit? Seriously? Seriously. Seriously? Seriously.

Ever since our arrival back at home, our best little nighttime sleeper now screams and cries hysterically every time we say good night. Big time sobs. So we try the cry it out thing like usual since it's worked for a couple years with him now, but nope. Not for this phase at least. I say "phase" because I can only hope this is a phase, but something about it says this may be a long haul thing.

So we run through the checklist. Fresh diaper. Cup of water. Let him cry. Let him cry some more. Hug him. Let him know everything is okay. Light left on. Light left off. Door left open. Hugs. Door closed. Water? Let's try water again. He finally succumbs via exhaustion, but then this repeats around 3am every night. Hmm, if only there was something useful to help resolve this, like "words" or "communicating", alas he rather not say anything.

If this doesn't make me go off the deep end, I don't know what will.  I went through a similar mental breakdown process when Landon stopped napping at 16 months, instead screaming in his crib in defiance. I think that was one of the few times I started crying uncontrollably one day when Erik came home, stuttering between sobs that I didn't think I could handle it. I suspect that scene will replay within a few days time if I don't muster some strength and grace. Please toss a little prayer my way.

Until then, ibuprofen and baby snuggles recenter me.

Sheriff Woody and His Puzzles

Enjoying some time at Grandpa Jim's house with his puzzles.

Resolutions

I have two main goals for this New Year. Writing them down will hold me to some accountability so here it goes. The main resolutions I'd like to focus on for 2013 are this:

(1) Eat less fast food. I currently pull up to a drive through about 3-4 times a week. I love fast food and make no excuses for it. It's consistent, it tastes good, it's value-priced and it is convenient. I order small meal deals or kids meals most of the times for portion control, so my goal is not necessarily a quest to reduce calories in the New Year. In fact I weigh less now than I did my senior year of high school (but boy oh boy it does NOT look the same). My goal is to seek out healthier calories. This week I was good about packing some PB&Js with me in the car to nosh on while running errands. I also got me a blender and I'm going to work on some smoothie goodness.

(2) The more dubious of the resolutions is don't let my temper get the better of me. On most days, I pride myself on being a pretty even keeled person. I avoid drama and make efforts to be congenial in everyday life, such as trying to make the Safeway cashier smile or letting someone know their new haircut looks great. If someone cuts me off while I'm driving, I think "Hmm, he must be racing to visit his Grandma at the hospital." It takes energy to be negative. Choose happiness, right?

But this self pleasantry gets tested often within the household walls. And sometimes I lose my shit. Like, holy crap, what can I do, I'm shaking with rage kind of shit. Can you believe little ol' me split the bedroom door cause I was so frustrated and I wanted to kick something? I'm in a healthy place where I can control my physical energy with the kids, but I do raise my voice with Landon and that is what I want to control. I firmly believe that kids need a stern voice once in a while to keep them disciplined, but I hate when I am shouting. It means I've lost control of the situation. If I can muster pleasantries for strangers, then I owe it to myself and my kids to muster good graces in our home. 

So. I will work on taking a couple deep breaths and asking myself which battles are worth fighting. And it's also about me asking Erik for help and being more insistent about needing a break. Wish me luck on the journey. I think it may involve some solo mommy drives to McDonald's... oh, wait. Crap.

Landon's First Snowman

For those of you who have had the pleasure of being around Landon the last couple months, you already know he has a slight obsession with snowmen. Santa is pretty cool, but a snowman takes the cake any day of the week. He can say the word "snow" and the word "man" independently but he endearingly puts them together as "nomanny." So, yep, I hear the word "nomanny!" shouted about a thousand times a day. It could border on annoying, but his enthusiasm makes up for the repetition.

We were super excited to see snow in the forecast for Grandma's house shortly after our arrival in Maryland over New Years. It didn't snow too much, but it was enough to make a perfect little snowperson.

We all assembled on the back porch and scrounged for the accessories: poison berries for the eyes, old beer bottle caps for buttons, a discarded dinner napkin as a scarf and a Pam cap for a hat. Aunt Schming lovingly wittled down a baby carrot with her teeth, ensuring a pointy end was available for assembly. It was great!

"Buzz Lightyear" gearing up in his snowsuit.

Aunt Schming encouraging Landon into the snow with a prototype snowman.

Grandma helping with the real deal.

"Pam" the snowperson, minus one arm.

Second arm: check!

The "nomanny!" is coming together!

Yay! Success!

Anders Six Months

So this post is delayed since we've been traveling and things were cray cray with the holidays, but Anders did indeed past the half year mark with flying colors on December 22nd. He's sitting up more and spitting up less so he's eeking his way out of the baby baby stage each month. It's happening all so quickly and I have to remind myself that he's becoming a big boy and is ready for new things every day. 

It's kind of easy to continue thinking of him as a baby since in some ways it's easier to manage, but I am excited about what the future holds. Just this evening, the boys were just kind of looking at each other and giggling while hanging out on the floor and I caught a glimpse of the fun brother times to come.

"A boogie woogie, I can sit on my own!"

Leaning tower of Anders.

Sweet bright blue eyes courtesy of Dada.

Long monkey toes courtesy of Mama.

Nom nom nom.

Likes
- Baby food! He loved carrots, squash and gave peas a chance and loved them, too!
- Running his fingers through Landon's hair and grabbing his ears.
- Sitting up and playing with little bug toys

Dislikes
- When mom eats a shrimp platter, Taco Bell, cookies and Buffalo Wild Wings in one afternoon. "What were you thinking, Ma?! This milk is disgusting!"
- Being left out of the action

Carrots for Our Cutie

As a Christmas present for Anders, we finally got off our buns and got our little big cutie some food to eat. He's hit the six month mark and stares so intently at people eating food; his time had surely come. He rapidly leaned in to the oncoming spoon and accepted it with gusto, of course!

I swear that some of the pureed carrots made it into his mouth.

Merry Christmas 2012!

Christmas 2012 was a nice comfy day at our household here in Anacortes. Landon is innocent enough that tossing a couple books and puzzles his way keeps him ecstatic and Anders is young enough that you can toss a wad of crumpled wrapping paper his way to keep him busy.

"Santa is coming? And he brings crumply PAPER?! Score!"

So happy this company stays in business! Who knew when Erik and I got our stockings 5 years ago that we would be able to continue to buy matching ones for our sons. Ah, commerce.

Reading/eating new books.

Skype break!

Our first real tree in a while! An armless potato head admires from afar.

Summary of morning: Dad drinks coffee, Anders is just watching, Landon is the center of attention.

Aww, look at those cuties!

The "My First Christmas" brigade. Hanging with his buddy George.

Enter the "perpetual motion" toddlers. Babies not amused.

Summary of late morning: Anders eating paper, Landon playing.

A puzzle to grow into, but he did take a good stab at it!

Mmm, more paper.

This was the first year in a while that we celebrated Christmas in our own home. We put up a tree, hung ornaments, hung our stockings with care by the fireplace and baked cookies until our blood content was equal parts sugar and sprinkles. Can't wait to experience it more each year as the boys get older. It has completely re-energized Christmas to see everything through their eyes.

We are excited to travel back to the East coast over the New Year to see our loved ones. The travels may go spectacularly horrible with the kiddies, or it may just go fine. Who knows? We'll try to be prepared for the former, but que sera, sera! See ya soon, family!

Carrier Qualified

Erik has been gone for a couple weeks, back on the boat for short detachment. But hallelujah, say goodbye to the mustache, folks: this guy is carrier qualified!

Standing in front of "the ball" or "the meatball"... basically the lighting system that helps pilots land on carriers.

Erik and the NFO he was paired up with for CQ. Growler in the background

The flight deck of the USS Harry S. Truman (CVN 75)

As far as next moves, Erik is finishing his time up at the RAG and then will have a squadron selection sometime in January or so. We're pretty sure he's not going to get Japan again and we're pretty sure he's not going to the squadron deploying in late January. Plus we're pretty sure he'll get a boat squadron like he wants (as opposed to an expeditionary squadron). [For as much as he complains about the boat, he rather be on it than land. Ask him to explain it all sometime.] So basically his hard work is once again paying off. So when you see him, give the guy a handshake and a pat on the back!

Welcome home, Daddy-sans-mustache!

Two Years

I feel a little stab in my heart when this date comes around on the calendar. The day my mom passed. I think her about her so often and continue to admire her more than ever as I experience motherhood myself. And it's kinda' funny/sad: everytime Landon or Anders is having an extremely fussy day and whining for their mommy, I in turn yearn for mine.

I suppose this time of year decades ago, we were bugging my mom while she decorated for Christmas and anticipated family and friends for a big dinner. As it was, I don't ever really remember her lashing out at us very often in anger or frustration, which I once considered as her failure to recognize us and that we were oft ignored. But I realize now her ability to hum and tune us out from time to time was actually very smart and is basically a mommy survival skill. Good one, Mom. Sorry it took me so long to figure it out. Hope we didn't drive you too crazy!

We had a nice warm cozy home decorated for the holidays every year. I hope I can make Christmastime as special for my boys as my parents did for us.

Gearing up for Christmas at the Mares household. Pants optional.

Santa 2012

This weekend I took the boys to have "breakfast with Santa" which is put on by our little town's parks and recreation team over at the senior center. Breakfast with Santa consisted of getting in line to have a picture with Santa and then getting in another line to get your pancakes and sausage. For as much as Landon has been talking about Santa this year, he looked a little forlorn when faced with the jolly fellow. But! He didn't cry. Nor did Anders. They basically looked like they were thinking "Seriously? This guy? He fits down the chimney? This guy? Hmm."

And Santa's also thinking "Seriously?" As in "Seriously, it's only 9am and I have three more hours at this gig?"

Here is what Anders looked like before we left. He was a happy jolly soul! Santa killed his spirit. Or teething dampened it. Probably teething.